I'mmmm BACK!  I am feeling a little down in the dumps. It has been a while since I have really felt sad and since it is almost 3am, it is a little late to call or write to friends. I have not been able to sleep in over a week. My husband has been working out of state for quite some time, several months (almost a year), and I guess I am used to sleeping alone but my almost 17 year old son, refuses to come home. He refuses to be civil to me in any way shape or form and that, I cannot get used to.He is following in the footsteps of his older brothers (1 much more than the other) quite nicely!  I do not understand where the hate comes from and no matter how far I have come on my journey to happiness, I cannot get over the hurt that I feel when my sons reject most of what they have been taught by me. I cannot get over the hurt of them only calling or coming home/over when they want money (or a babysitter). I cannot get over how selfish they are. Or, how completely irrelevant they consider me (and my opinion) in their lives. I could be dead right now and nobody would know for GOD only knows how long. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of feeling lonely. I am tired of the hatred and disrespect in my family. No matter how hard I try, it just keeps coming! 

While I am in the mood.....

Since I am already on my soap box, I might as well get something else off my chest too. I am online every day. I spend way too much time online but it is almost to the point that I am so appalled by the way most people judge each other on outward appearances that I don't even want to interact and talk with people any more. Every day, I see post (pictures) of overweight women being made fun of, put down, and called ugly but it seems to be acceptable for a man to get fat (????). Every day there is at least one post (picture) of a down syndrome child that people actually call  ugly! I don't understand how we have gotten to the point that this is acceptable behavior. We were born with our looks. They are not what defines us as beautiful. Not everyone will be born with what most people view as beautiful. Does that give anyone the right to tear them down, to insult them, to break their spirit? Every child, every person  DESERVES to feel loved, they deserve to feel beautiful. Nobody deserves to be called ugly because they look different! And I promise you that every pretty woman out there has someone that thinks she is a bitch so being pretty does not make you a good person so what in GODS name is it going to take for people (mostly men) to stop judging on looks alone? And please don't be accusing me of being a man basher, I LOVE MEN just not disrespectful, judgmental, immature men that wont take a second look at a women that weighs more than 100 lbs or a women that does not look like a Victoria Secret model so she can be displayed like a Barbie on his fat hairy arm!  Don't misunderstand though, I do not have a problem with fat men, bald men, what most consider ugly men, I have never turned a date down because of someones looks! I do have a problem with the fat, balding, hairy bodied men that want a beauty queen on their arm as if they somehow have a pass to look like that but don't accept a woman that is sub-standard! It is the hypocrisy and double standard that I despise! 

Chick-fil-a

It has been a really long time since I wrote on here.....I forgot my screen name and just did not feel the need to put an effort into getting back in since I am unknown to most (meaning, nobody reads my blogs anyway)! BUT, this Chick-fil-a turmoil has gotten me in a little bit of an inner turmoil. I totally believe in freedom of speech and I respect  others opinions that are not aligned with mine. Then on the other hand I believe that gay marriage should be legal. The definition of marriage should NEVER have been a man and a woman. We were wrong. Our forefathers were wrong. It has happened before and it will probably happen again that our opinions of things need to change. Two grown consenting adults that are in love should be able to get married. It is unconstitutional for them to NOT be able to! That is my opinion. I know it is not the "CHRISTIAN" way but neither is judging people and "Christians" have become experts at that! I believe in GOD, but my God would not be that hateful. And I truly to the core of my heart believe that God would rather see gay marriage accepted than to see Christians all around the world ostracizing the gay community. He did not create these people just to have the world turn their backs on them. God is supposed to be about love not hate and I would rather err on the side of love every time, right or wrong!

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     I feel like I have traveled back in time and I am a teenager writing in my journal again. But, then if I let those  negative thoughts crawl in to my head and stay it is pretty overwhelming because that is when I realize that any person that has internet access can read my journal! WTH was I thinking?
     I read another blog giving advice on how to increase traffic to your blog (My Name Is Not Bob @ http://robertleebrewer.blogspot.com/). He had some great advice but I am not really sure if I am ready for all that yet. I will work my way up to it! As for now, I am writing for myself and a select few but I welcome strangers in to my little circle. And I would love any and all feedback on my writing style, punctuation, misspellings......I want to become an author and this is my starting point. Please be kind, I do not want this to be my stopping point too!! That was a joke. I am going to do this! But thanks in advance for any support given by friends or strangers! It will be put to great use! And to my friends that I send her, please respect my privacy for now. Do not use my real name. 
    Until next time SnS.

My introduction!

     Hmmm...well, where do I start?? I have never blogged before so this is very new to me. My daughter actually started me a blog a while back and I never used it. Now, I am ready(almost). Although, I am hidden under a cloak of anonymity! I do have a lot to say and share if only I can get people interested! HA! This will be interesting and fun!
     The name I go by is Sassy Short.NOT my real name! LOL! I am a 44 year old mother and grandmother. YES, I started young. I had 4 kids when I was 21. YES, I figured out what was causing it, but, dang it sure felt good at the time! When you are young and dumb, you do not think very far in to the future or I would have considered the enormity of having 4 kids at that age. But then again, I still believed in "happily ever after"! That too was deceiving! And Men do not view divorce the same as women so once we divorced he considered himself divorced from the children too therefore he did not believe that he should pay child support. Lets just say, he owes me a huge amount of back child support that I will never ever see and leave it at that. I prefer to never talk about him again!
     For now, I will stick to sharing every day progress in my life. I am a recovering depressant (I made that up). I  have been depressed most of my adult life and it has been a very long hard process to get where I am today. I am lucky to be alive. I have my kids and my friends to thank for that. My kids just because my love for them was so strong and my friends because the few times that I was on the verge of throwing in the towel, they held me up and talked me through it.  I welcome any one who has ever been a slave to depression to leave me a comment but this is my blog and although I love a good debate, I will not tolerate anyone coming on here and talking about how selfish depressed suicidal people are. I will delete your comments. We do not chose to be depressed. It hurts us physically and mentally. I am finally at a point in my life that I believe that I can be an inspiration to people. Maybe by sharing what I chose to share I can save just one person from living a life like the HELL that I called my life. Then this will all be worth it!
     I will end this part of my blog with this, the turning point in my life was when I discovered that I CAN CONTROL MY THOUGHTS! OMG! Who knew, right??? Now that might sound crazy for all you normal folks out there but for us abnormal (depressants), not being able to control our thoughts is probably what caused 99.9% of our problems. I read a book that taught me how to do it! Actually it was two books that were by two different authors and two completely different ways of writing but for some reason reading these two books consecutively made things click in my mind!  First I read "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne which is great but it seemed unfinished and slightly unbelievable to me. Next and completely unintentional I read "The Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. Now when I started reading the second book, I had absolutely no idea that the two would compliment each other so well. It was the same basic premise but it went so much deeper.  It seriously changed my life. I have had 1 (yes, one) bad day since reading the second book. I have bought it for two friends and recommended it to every one of my friends.
     In my future blogs, I will probably share some of my writings (poetry and short stories) if I can get the nerve to do so! I suppose it just depends on if anyone actually reads this!
Until next time.......SnS