I'mmmm BACK!  I am feeling a little down in the dumps. It has been a while since I have really felt sad and since it is almost 3am, it is a little late to call or write to friends. I have not been able to sleep in over a week. My husband has been working out of state for quite some time, several months (almost a year), and I guess I am used to sleeping alone but my almost 17 year old son, refuses to come home. He refuses to be civil to me in any way shape or form and that, I cannot get used to.He is following in the footsteps of his older brothers (1 much more than the other) quite nicely!  I do not understand where the hate comes from and no matter how far I have come on my journey to happiness, I cannot get over the hurt that I feel when my sons reject most of what they have been taught by me. I cannot get over the hurt of them only calling or coming home/over when they want money (or a babysitter). I cannot get over how selfish they are. Or, how completely irrelevant they consider me (and my opinion) in their lives. I could be dead right now and nobody would know for GOD only knows how long. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of feeling lonely. I am tired of the hatred and disrespect in my family. No matter how hard I try, it just keeps coming!